From the desk of Mrs. Lewis: A Sad Shock

Two nights ago, Tuesday August 7th, at around 10 pm, we lost our beautiful, fun, active, healthy, 3 year-old Roxy dog. On Tuesday night, a neighbor brought a puppy over to play. Roxy was in the middle of playing when she collapsed. She seized (we think) for about 15 seconds, let out the most painful moan I have ever heard in my life, and took her last breath. It was the most horrific thing I have ever experienced. Thanks to our kind and loving neighbors, I was consoled next door, while the men took care of Roxy. I am still in awe at the strength of my husband, who loved Roxy as much as I did (she loved him more than me, that was always obvious). I don't know how he was able to put the pain aside and deal with issues, but he did. God truly gave me a courageous man who took our dog to the clinic by himself that night so I could concentrate on keeping calm. He drove her to a late night emergency clinic where the vet tech says she suffered from a Cordae Tendineae in her heart. Have you ever heard those heart-wrenching stories about young athletes- football players, runners- suddenly collapsing in mid-stride? This is what happened to our poor athletic puppy. The vet said the pain was very quick (the duration of the moan we heard), so it was brief for her. The quick and sudden death, although easier for the victim, is so much harder on the survivors.

Before leaving with her, Matt let me say goodbye. If you ever lose a pet, and you have this opportunity, I suggest you take it. I knew it was going to be hard, and it was. I am lucky, though, that even though it took too many Matt and Sarah tears, I was able to pet her hair back one more time, kiss her little nose, and tell her how much I loved her. Gah- I can't do this! Pregnant Sarah = already emotional Sarah x 10,000.

We all know dogs' lives are short. In my experience with 4 doggy deaths so far, dogs have always died of old age. It's not supposed to be when they are only 3, in the middle of playing, still able to jump up on the bed and snuggle, still able to run 6 miles with you when it's cool out, still chasing you around the house. This is not how it's supposed to be. We needed more time with her. Two years was not enough! She loved us so much (we know it!) I have never loved an animal as deeply as her. I sit here and long for even just one more year with her, but I know I'm being selfish. God has a plan, and this was part of it. Maybe Roxy had to leave us because God knows the baby will need our full attention? Or maybe (I like this one better), God sent us baby because He had to take Roxy from us. Knowing I have to care for baby already has helped keep me distracted, and thinking of our little one on the way has eased the heartache just a bit. I thank God for the outpouring of love and support we have received from our neighbors and friends. They all understand that there are not many words they can give, but the prayers and thoughts have meant so much.

I cannot type any more. This has already taken such an emotional toll on me. I sit here and my feet are cold, because she is not lying next to them in the computer room. I just dropped a blueberry on the floor and now I have to pick it up instead of letting her eat it. The TV has been on in the background for hours so that the silence won't get to me. When I leave the house next, I'll be 5 minutes ahead of schedule because I wont be letter her out.
It really is the little things, isn't it?

"She wasn't our whole life, but she made our life whole."